What it was really like to bare all...

I knew this book would be tough to write. Not the sitting down and actually writing part. The part where you release something to the world that is private and vulnerable and you have no idea how people will react to it.

Let's be honest. there are things in this book people in the church world won't agree with. There are things in this book people in the 'eating disorder' world won't agree with. There are things in this book people in my own world may not even agree with. And I am someone who likes to keep things agreeable.

This book has been many, many years in the making.

Not because of the time it took to write it. Truth be told it didn't take me long. But because of the weight of what I am sharing. I'm sharing me.

I'm sharing my journey, in all of its imperfections.

I'm sharing what most people wouldn't.

The reason I am sharing is because I know my truth can help others. I know deep down in my gut that this book has the power to help people get free from many of lifes struggles - not just eating disorders.

There has been a lot of spiritual warfare around this book. As the launch day etches closer and closer, I feel the resistance in the spirit against it. I feel the enemy willing me not to publish it.

I have even had to face the realisation that publishing this book is a public commitment not to relapse ever again.

Because I can't be the woman who wrote a book about her eating disorder and then relapsed.

There I go again with my honesty!

But you know it's true.

In some ways I feel like I exposing others who behave in a disordered way. Because when we talk about hat eating disorders actually look like we can see where they may be lurking in the people around us.

I almost feel like I'm breaking the silence of a secret club I used to belong to.

I feel a little bit like I have escaped from a cult and I'm finally telling my story.

So, my prayer is that all of this will be worth it. My prayer is that this book really means something to some people.

That it would genuinely be a tool to bring freedom to people's lives.

Because when it is, all of this will be worth it.

And I believe it will be.